I am pretty sure I’ve told everyone I needed to tell, but still, I am so excited I just wanna yell:
I’m getting married!!!
When Nicholas proposed I couldn’t believe it. We had talked about it for months. Since our third date we’d had conversations about what we were each hoping to accomplish by dating. But when I found myself, hundreds of feet above the ground, surrounded by the Gothic pillars of the Duke Chapel, with the man I love down on one knee calling me “baby girl…”
Externally, Utter surprise. “Are you serious?!”
Internally, palpable disbelief. “Oh my God, he really did it. He’s asking me forever!”
I don’t remember much else about it. I remember those two feelings. And I remember sweating. I got so sweaty! The temperature was about 50 but I felt so hot. I also had a hard time saying yes. I crouched down beside him, I kissed him, I hugged him, I jumped on him, I smiled the biggest smile I could smile at him, but the question was so huge, so meaningful, so…everything I wanted…I couldn’t bring myself to accept it. In some ways it was so childish. Like when you beg your parents for something really expensive and then feel really embarrassed when they actually get it for you. He was offering up everything. It felt a little selfish to take it.
I was certainly emotional, but I didn’t cry.
I’m crying now. Three weeks later (which, interestingly enough, is a funny inside joke).
As beautiful as our actual engagement was, Nick gave me a present afterward that has meant the world to me. A video. With his GoPro camera and a drone, he was able to capture really important moments of our engagement weekend. I’ve watched it four times already and every time I do, I cry. In it, he explains why he decided to propose:
“When she’s around I feel at home, and content, and at peace. And when she’s not around, things don’t feel right.”
That explanation is what, in retrospect, has made me so ecstatic that he asked and I, eventually, said yes. He feels exactly as I feel.
I truly believe that’s as much confirmation as I’ll ever have that it was the right moment to choose to give and take everything, good and bad, to and from another person.
So, here’s to my future husband. I can’t wait!